One of the most annoying nag I feel I receive from my mom is the "I forbid you to get a girlfriend now. It will without a doubt be detrimental to your studies." nag.

I mean, if it comes, it comes right? How is it possible to forbid me to go out with girls etc? I don't think it makes any sense. In my opinion, if you choose to suppress emotions, it will be even more tiring.

Why is it that my mother does not believe I can make my own decisions? Always second guessing decisions that I make, read deeply into them, making decisions for me etc. Do you know how tiring it is?

Even which lane to drive in, she is also deciding for me. My schedule for the day, she also wants to decide/mess up.

It is already far beyond concern, it is obsession! She doesn't realise the more she does it, the more I feel the urge to just close myself up and pull further away.

Sometimes, people just need to learn that to love is not to hold tightly, not giving any freedom. The rope will one day break and it may never be fixed.

Hello there! So I'm feeling bored in my bunk therefore I decided to post something on my super stagnant blog. Been pretty busy at work recently. Many things to be done so little time so little manpower. Well, we just have to make do I guess. I'm in need of a break! Hopefully I can do that soon! Studies wise, I got offers from all the universities I applied to. But I picked UNSW as I have friends there and know people who have graduated from the same course. If my application to disrupt from full time national service, I would depart for studies next July and would expect to graduate somewhere July 2014? Hopefully I can start my career or at least start training. You know what I wanna do as a career.. Had the chance to talk to some people recently. Trying to talk sense into them. Giving personal experiences and such. Well, you know what? Some times I really think some people really excuse brain. Clearly a smart person, but don't want to put his heart and mind into completing his tasks. At times I feel tired of being the "bad guy" but the person just don't feel tired of skiving! My mind is pretty much in a whirpool now. Got a lot of matters I'm pondering about. I hope I get my answers soon!

So, let's see.. It's been ages since I last posted something on my blog.

Well, here I am as an armament technician. Going no doubt has it's up and downs. But we have been quite busy recently. Loads of stuff to settle. Not only do I have work to settle, I have to also settle my university stuff.

Somehow, I've been thinking about a lot of stuff. Some stuff simply is between me and God which I won't talk about here. Mainly what I'm thinking about now is advancement in my NS life and my career. Both somehow affects each other.

I guess many have heard about my intentions to sign on. However, I've heard that unless I'm at least a specalist, I cannot sign as an officer. There is a slim chance that I can go for the section commander course. But currently on paper, another guy is the section 2I/C. Some of my friends who think that I deserve it told me that I should fight to go for the course openly. But I'm in a dilemma. It won't be nice to fight openly. Furthermore, a lot of my platoonmates have treated my buddy as the 2I/C already. So I was thinking that it might be a blow to him should it turn out that he isn't going for the course. But it's my career we are talking about here.. So it really troubles me. I don't really like the thought of having to fight with my buddy for "promotion". I believe that it's for the authorities to decide. But some argue that you have to make yourself visible.. I really don't know what's my next step to take.

This is the only problem I'm facing now that I'm willing to talk about. Guess I'll keep the rest private for now.

Coincidentally, one of the SAF merit scholar recepients this year has the same name as me. He is Cephas Ong while my surname is Kong. If only.. Never the less, congrats sir!

So week one in the new unit has passed. I was posted to Ordinance Engineering Training Institute or OETI for short. Nicknamed Only Eat, Talk and Idle. Vocation is Armament Technician Trainee. Truth be told, I don't like it there at all. Life is too slack.

During the last PC interview in BMT, he told me that I still stand a chance to get into OCS. So I would assume that if I don't get into OCS, I should be posted to SCS. However, that did not happen. Instead I was posted to where I am now. Wondering why I am posted here. But there is nothing much I can do except to continue to do my best in everything and voicing out to my superiors my desire to be in OCS. Some people tell me that I'm somewhat condemned to be a enlisted personnel already.

I just don't understand why I am posted here. I am a highly motivated person never quit(except when its really not worth it and its stupid to push on). Well, I just don't know. Apparently I heard that many people supposed to go OCS also were posted to "man" vocations.

You can just imagine the devastation I feel after working so hard for something but it never comes. Been longing for a very long time to join the Air Force as a regular. I was rejected. Nevermind, I still can become an NSF Officer. That also didn't come.

I recently found out about ugly things that was spoken about me by my peers in BMT. I choose not to be affected by them. One day they might understand. Well, for one, I may seem to be wayang, but I don't. In fact, I hate wayang. In my opinion, if you have what it takes, you have it. If not, you are not. What makes it worse is that even my superiors in BMT misunderstand me. Nevermind, I will just let it pass and continue to do my best in everything.

There is surely a reason for me to be posted where I am. But I still want to work hard to be given the chance to be an officer. Like what I've said, some people have told me that I'm condemned to remain as an enlisted personnel. But I think I've raised the matter up and now its up to GOD's will. Painful no doubt. But like what Army teaches, suck thumb.

POP LOH!!!

POP came and went. BMT is now over and I am a private. Well, looking back at BMT, I must say it has been quite happening.

BMT was a really unique experience where you get to meet all sorts of people from all walks of life.

Too much has happened to be mentioned here. But I would just like to say that I am proud to be from 5th coy but I am not proud of the attitude and behavior of some of my fellow trainees. Get it right, I don't hate the person, I just hate what they do.

Although we did not win the best coy competition, we all know in our hearts that we are the best. The way we do not give up easily, the speed at which we march, the discipline, the relentless spirit the list goes on but it just goes to show that we are the best coy no matter what the results show. Although we got second best, we lose with pride. Well done guys!

Career wise, it seems hopeless that I would be starting my career anytime soon. Been rejected for some vocations that I am interested in on the basis of medical. I have come to accept it and just leave it all to GOD. However, it is still disappointing not to be able to do what you have dreamt of all your life. And its even more disappointing to see your friends who do not have as much passion as you get what you wanted. Though the disappointment is there, we still need to learn to pick up the pieces and move on, trusting that GOD has a better plan. For me, I have decided to play it by ear and see how things goes.

Anyway, its time for bed. Been sleeping for most of the time since I got home from my graduation parade. Longest stretch so far? I think 12hours or more. Sleeping till back aching but I'm still tired... How??

One week to POP. Everything in BMT is now done. All that remains is to complete parade rehearsals.

On monday I successfully completed my 16km route march without anyone's help or extra rest. All thanks to God's help. Without which I'm sure I would not be able to complete it. Weather was pretty cooling, my knees didn't hurt much and I didn't get dehydrated. Was very happy when I finished the march. Looked forward to the RSAF officer talk that was to be held on the evening of tuesday. This was then rescheduled to Wednesday morning. No problems there. Looked forward to the book out that day evening which is the first time we are booking out on a weekday as well.

However, my mood would change greatly. At the talk I was informed that I had failed my pilot medical and I would not have any chance at a reapplication. On the spot, I accepted the AWO(C3) contract as an alternative. I was quite devastated when I heard that I had failed the medical and I would not have any other chance to be a RSAF pilot.

My second blow came just before book out when the award winners were announced. No Company Best, No platoon best, not even the top 5 in the platoon. That wasn't a very great blow as I was prepared for it. But it was still disappointing.

After I got back home, I begin to ponder over my decision to accept the AWO(C3) contract. I wondered if I would like working as a C3 controller. Honestly speaking, ever since I went to the SATCC open house, my interest in ATC as slightly aroused. Furthermore, if I successfully complete the course, I would be an officer. Talked a bit to a close friend who is holding the vocation. Finally I decided that I would not withdraw from the contract. However, the third blow was about to be dealt.

Just before I had my dinner, my handphone rang. On the other end was a CPT from the Air Force Recruitment Centre. He informed me that I was not eligible for the AWO(C3) vocation. Instead I was offered the chance to sign the AFE(M) contract which I would start out at the rank of ME1 which is equivlent to the rank of a 3rd Sargent. Talking to a friend who is a ME4 AFE, I was advised not to sign the ME1 contract. However, I still have some personal issues to take into account.

Now theses events set me thinking. Was is my BMT ranking not high enough therefore I am not eligible for officer vocations? Or is there some other issues I am not aware of? I badly want to be an officer. But contrary to what most think, I do not do "wayang", I hate it. Now I am wondering if I do not sign the ME1 contract, where would I end up. If I sign the contract, it disqualifies me from entering OCS. However, if I do not sign, I still may not end up as an Officer. What should I do now? I am really lost. Should I not sign and eventually not make it into OCS, that would be my fourth and really a huge blow to me. So what should I do now? I really hope I can see a clear answer. Help me GOD...

Another example how good God is. I was actually unable to book out for my family gathering as I was assigned a guard duty. But some circumstances caused a reshuffle and my duty was changed to 13 Jan.

Exactly 2 weeks to the day I would toss my Jocky cap and say good bye to BMTC (er... not just yet). Quite looking forward to the day. Cause that means I would be moving on to the next place I where I would continue my military service. I would also get to know if my application to the Air Force is successful.

So I was hoping for a guard duty to top my BMT off and I got it. 13 Jan. That is during my block leave but I ain't complaining. One week is too short to go anywhere anyway..

First time in BMT I got to book out on friday morning. Felt a bit awkward to be home so early on a friday. This coming week is going to be even more awkward. Book in on sunday evening, book out on wed night. After that book in, it would be POP on the following saturday!

Side track, my desktop just decided that its gonna quit. A 5year old comp. My computer age its a bonus already right? Now I have to decide if I'm going to build a new one. If I get into the Air Force I think I would just go on my laptop for the time being since I would be spending some time overseas. If not then I think I would just go ahead and start building my new comp.

16 Dec. I think thats the 2nd time I spent my birthday away from home. It was pretty alright. Had quite sometime time sitting in the bunk doing nothing. Not cause its was my birthday but it was cause some activities were cancelled and some activities does not involve everyone in the company. The "Best" part was the last hour of my birthday. Was already in dreamland when we got turned out. What happened was some guys decided to defy lights out timing and continued to shower, eat and talk on their phone.

IPPT. Managed a silver for the final test. Everything was going well for a gold with 5 points for all stations except for SBJ which I got 4, till I went for the 2.4km run. Was doing a very good pace(people in my detail complained I was too fast for them to keep up) until 400m into the run when I was hit with a severe stitch. Being the crazy guy I am, I pressed on. Slowed down my pace a bit to try and relieve the pain. However it did not work so I started interval sprinting where I would sprint till the pain gets unbearable and I would slow down for a while. Continued that way for the rest of the run. Ended up with a timing of 11mins and 4 secs.

On wednesday, we were given the option of retaking the IPPT to improve our score. I decided to rest myself as my old injuries are resurfacing and there are still the 16 and 24km route marches to complete. However, all non-retakers were instructed to go for a run with our OC. We ran around 6+km the last 2 were up and down a hill near our camp. That run made me regret not retaking my IPPT as the pace we ran, I guess would have gotten me a gold timing for the run.

Well, so all is over, POP is drawing near. I pray that I would be able to endure through the 16 and 24km route marches. My knees and my proneness to getting mild heat exhaustions in FBO would likely stand in the way. However, I am determined not to let them get in the way. Just for your information, I do not give up just because I want to, I only give up when my body is really unable to take anymore. That is how I got my old injuries in the first place..

So 5 weeks ago I enlisted into the service of the nation. Now, my company has finished all high key events in BMT. What we are left with is IPPT, 16km and 24km route marches and the various little stuff.

Looking back, I felt that I am under performing. One, my physical isn't as strong as what it used to be. I feel tired easily even when my mind is telling me to push on. And its getting worse. For the first 2 weeks I could be giving my normal 100% but slowly that number is dropping. Nonetheless, I am still trying to fight hard, give of my best even if its not my usual 100%. My aim is to give my 100% all the time. Even if it is not my usual 100% when I am not fatigued etc.

Somehow I am also disliking the level of discipline my company mates are showing. Talking to some of my friends, I realise that we share the same sentiments. It seems that after field camp, everyone is starting to slack off in terms of discipline. Not marching properly, moving around when they are not supposed to. Basically, discipline looks to be dropping back to square one.

Thats all for now, time to leave to book in.

Exactly one day before I enter the service of the country. Lets take stock of what happened in the past week. Nothing really notable except for Wednesday. The day I did my first international flight. By "did" I meant I flew it myself. Flew from Seletar to Malacca.

Made it to the airport at about 0800hrs. Intended to preflight the aircraft before the club manager and my passenger arrived. Walking out to the aircraft, I realised that I had left the aircraft keys on the desk. No choice, left my flight bag at the aircraft and walked back for the key.

Clearing immigration was not much of a problem. Was cleared to 1500feet although I filed for 2000ft for the flight up. Flight was quite uneventful, but I still prefer flying navigational flights in Aussie.

Arriving in Malacca, cleared immigration and customs. Hung around the terminal for some refreshments. Then went to the tower to file the flight plan for the return flight. You can actually get to go to the tower cab! Took some photos and chatted with the trainee controller who just transfered from another facility.

On the way back, the winds were somewhat blowing from about 4 to 5 o'clock relative to the plane. Thus the aircraft kept trying to bank over to the left. Had a few reciprocal traffic on this leg. Approaching Singapore, I had a reciprocal traffic at the same level, therefore I was instructed to descend.

Approaching Seletar, I was instructed to climb to rejoin the Circuit at Seletar. Upon confirmation that I had the runway visual, I was cleared to join the base leg of the circuit. At that time I had just reached the altitude that I was instructed to climb to! It was a rush to descend and do the necessary check to prepare for landing.

By the time we cleared immigration and customs in Singapore and taxied back to our parking bay to secure the aircraft, I was covered in sweat. A very warm afternoon but viz was very good.

Alright so enlistment is tomorrow. A day I look forward very much to. Time to make my final preparations.

A380 Engine uncontained failure

1146Hrs 04/11/10
Qantas A388, VH-OQA made an emergency landing at Changi Airport Singapore following an uncontained engine failure.

Saw pictures of the damage online. Apparently the leading edge of the port wing was damaged by debris and the thrust reverser cowling was blown off. I would be very interested to find out the cause of the uncontained failure. However, I guess I would have enlisted by then.