So week one in the new unit has passed. I was posted to Ordinance Engineering Training Institute or OETI for short. Nicknamed Only Eat, Talk and Idle. Vocation is Armament Technician Trainee. Truth be told, I don't like it there at all. Life is too slack.

During the last PC interview in BMT, he told me that I still stand a chance to get into OCS. So I would assume that if I don't get into OCS, I should be posted to SCS. However, that did not happen. Instead I was posted to where I am now. Wondering why I am posted here. But there is nothing much I can do except to continue to do my best in everything and voicing out to my superiors my desire to be in OCS. Some people tell me that I'm somewhat condemned to be a enlisted personnel already.

I just don't understand why I am posted here. I am a highly motivated person never quit(except when its really not worth it and its stupid to push on). Well, I just don't know. Apparently I heard that many people supposed to go OCS also were posted to "man" vocations.

You can just imagine the devastation I feel after working so hard for something but it never comes. Been longing for a very long time to join the Air Force as a regular. I was rejected. Nevermind, I still can become an NSF Officer. That also didn't come.

I recently found out about ugly things that was spoken about me by my peers in BMT. I choose not to be affected by them. One day they might understand. Well, for one, I may seem to be wayang, but I don't. In fact, I hate wayang. In my opinion, if you have what it takes, you have it. If not, you are not. What makes it worse is that even my superiors in BMT misunderstand me. Nevermind, I will just let it pass and continue to do my best in everything.

There is surely a reason for me to be posted where I am. But I still want to work hard to be given the chance to be an officer. Like what I've said, some people have told me that I'm condemned to remain as an enlisted personnel. But I think I've raised the matter up and now its up to GOD's will. Painful no doubt. But like what Army teaches, suck thumb.